Senior Scene November 30,2015


I am a little sleep deprived today as I was up in the wee hours of the morning in order to be at Quinte Mall to unload our vehicles and set up our Christmas wrapping booth by the time the Mall opened for business.  With that in mind, I am just going to take a light approach and share some wonderful paraprosdokians with you.  A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part.


  • Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
  • Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  • We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
  • Knowledge is being aware that a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
  • The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  • A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station.
  • Some people are like Slinkys … not really good for anything, but you cannot help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs. (this one is not nice but unfortunately it makes me laugh)
  • A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you really do not need it.
  • I did not say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
  • Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
  • A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  • The voices in my head may not be real, but they have had some good ideas!
  • I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
  • Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
  • I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
  • I always take life with a grain of salt… plus a slice of lemon… and a shot of tequila.
  • You are never too old to learn something stupid.
  • To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
  • If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child? (another one that is not nice – so now you are starting to understand my sick sense of humour)
  • Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.


Community Care for South Hastings officially started their Christmas Gift Wrap fundraiser last Friday.  Our wonderful volunteer wrappers will be at the Quinte Mall every day until Christmas Eve at 5 p.m.  I have two requests – come and volunteer with us if you love wrapping gifts (call Irene at 613-969-0130 to sign up) or bring your purchased gifts to Quinte Mall and let us wrap and decorate them for you.  We are conveniently located just south of the Santa display and the Food Court.